Florida Marlins outfielder Chris Coghlan tore a meniscus in his knee while attempting to smash a shaving cream pie into Wes Helms’ face during a postgame celebration.
Coghlan is the 2nd MLB player to suffer a serious injury during a postgame celebration this season; Kendry Morales broke his leg jumping on home plate after a walkoff home run at the end of May.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5412671
First of all, why the hell is any team with a sub-.500 record that plays in front of 300 fans at home games celebrating anything at all?
Second, cream pies? What a stupid ritual. Last year someone tried to give Joe Thomas a surprise shaving cream pie to the face, and he performed the first spontaneous Face-Ass-Ectomy in medical history. Maybe they should smash each other in the face with vitamins or calcium pills instead, since these Nancies can’t even jump without shattering their knees and legs.
I miss the steroids era when guys had legs like tree trunks. Yeah, they had balls like raisins, but that wasn’t MY problem. Mark McGwire’s meniscus was strong enough to chew its own meals AND shit them out.
“[Manager Edwin] Rodriguez said the team addressed excessive celebrating and there will not be any more shaving-cream pie rituals.” That had to be the most exasperating locker room speech ever. I would’ve made it about halfway through before I just ripped my own head off and threw it at someone.
If someone blew out their knee trying to smash a shaving cream pie in my face I would absolutely squat down and fart in their mouth as they writhed on the ground in pain. Hopefully one of those short but powerful blast farts that billow your boxers like a flag in a 70 mph breeze. I bet that would taste like shame.
