I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the most annoying and intrusive evolution in advertising since the Internet pop-up ad: gas pump screamers.
You’ve probably been assaulted by one of these things by now. You pull up to the pump, set everything up, and as soon as the gas starts pumping a small electronic [...]
Archive for the ‘2008’ Category
Gas pump screamers
Posted in 2008, 2009, tagged bad commercials, rage on December 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The agony of Ken Dorsey
Posted in 2008, tagged Cleveland Browns, Ken Dorsey, NFL, Romeo Crennel on December 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
As I was watching the Browns get crushed last night on Monday Night Football, all I could think was “I honestly cannot believe Ken Dorsey is in the NFL. He might be the worst pro quarterback in 30 years.”
Consider the following:
* Arm strength – Dorsey makes Chad Pennington look like a turbocharged Howitzer. The punter [...]
Jared from Subway
Posted in 2008, tagged Jared from Subway, unprovoked rage on December 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Having a bad day?
Car won’t start?
Snow to shovel?
Kids a hassle?
Bills to pay?
Let’s focus our energy on the real reason that your life sucks sometimes: Jared from Subway.
Whatever is wrong in your life, I fucking guarantee you that Jared from Subway is somehow responsible. We’re talking about a man who ate until he looked like the [...]
Peter King has lost his crown
Posted in 2008, tagged liquified kittens, NFL, Peter King, Ray Lewis on December 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
From Peter King’s Dec 7, 2008 MMQB column:
“Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore. When will he slow down? 2014? The more I watch the Ravens, the more I marvel at his staying power — and not just the staying power to hang around. He’s excelling the same way he was in the Ravens’ Super Bowl year, and [...]
Cirque du Cleveland Browns
Posted in 2008, tagged Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns, NFL, Romeo Crennel on November 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
What a great week to be a Browns fan.
First our illustrious GM, Ron Howard, gets a critical email from a fan and responds with, and I quote:
“Go root for Buffalo – fuck you”.
How did Opie from The Andy Griffith Show get such a potty mouth? Seriously, I’m surprised he didn’t sign the guy to be [...]
What’s the next level up from road rage?
Posted in 2008, tagged burning stupidity, compulsive swearing, Prius, rage, road rage on November 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
When I switched jobs a little over a year ago, my commute changed from a 5 minute jog across town to a 35 minute highway haul. This change in commutes has opened my eyes to something: people are fucking idiots.
Okay, I knew that before I started driving on the highway every day…but few places make [...]
NFL Network, Browns-Broncos game, and an airborne laptop
Posted in 2008, tagged Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns, Julianne Hough, NFL, Romeo Crennel on November 7, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Since I don’t have NFL Network on my cable plan (just like 99.9% of America) I watched the Browns-Broncos game last night on the NFL.com website. A few observations:
When the NFL Network shows games online, they don’t show the entire game. They will show maybe 10 mins of game action, then cut back to a [...]
Just in time for Halloween
Posted in 2008, tagged crazy ideas, race on October 21, 2008 | 1 Comment »
In case your blood pressure wasn’t already high enough with our current financiapocalypse and the upcoming Presidential election, ponder these scenarios:
Scenario #1
1) From now until Nov 5, Obama continues to show a commanding lead in the polls.
2) The election happens and McCain wins.
Reason: lots of people in America like to think they are “progressive” and [...]
A season reborn
Posted in 2008, tagged Cleveland Browns, ESPN, Joe Thomas, NFL, Romeo Crennel on October 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So many things to enjoy about last night’s thorough humiliation of the New York Football Giants:
* ESPN cameramen always seem to find the ugliest/scariest Browns fans for their crowd shots. The guy that looked like Bob Ross was my favorite (“Now lets paint some happy trees!”).
* When things aren’t going well for the Giants, Eli [...]
Game 1: Apparently you can’t fix stupid by blessing it
Posted in 2008, tagged Chicago Cubs, compulsive swearing, MLB, Tom Verducci on October 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The Cubs shit the bed so completely and thoroughly last night, the bed looks like a cake with 3″ of chocolate frosting on top.
Lets start with the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen from the Cubs in years, and that’s saying something: Hiring a Greek Orthodox priest to bless the dugout with holy water.
Lets spend the [...]
