Posts Tagged ‘Peter King’

From Peter King’s Dec 7, 2008 MMQB column:

“Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore. When will he slow down? 2014? The more I watch the Ravens, the more I marvel at his staying power — and not just the staying power to hang around. He’s excelling the same way he was in the Ravens’ Super Bowl year, and he’s leading the same way too — at 33, in his 13th season.”

Hmm, that is a mystery. I wonder if there is anything that a linebacker who looks washed up at age 31 can do to enhance his performance and become a beast again by age 33. If only there were some magical substance that could be injected, taken orally, or rubbed into the skin as a cream that would help with that.

Considering the morality that Lewis has shown in the past (Google “Jacinth Baker” or “Richard Loller” for details) it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the secret to his longevity involves feeding kittens through a wood chipper while doing his sack dance and laughing maniacally, then soaking in their liquid remains in a sensory deprivation tank for 12 hours.

On the other hand, steroids are easier to get than a Sam’s Club size box of kittens. So it’s probably steroids.

Is Peter King really this naive? Or has he compromised his journalistic integrity for continued insider access to the world of an NFL athlete?

The answer, of course, is “yes”.


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